When our fellowship began, its initial members voted to make all approved Alcoholics Anonymous literature, approved SPAA literature. So, for our primary text, we rely on the Big Book of AA. Our fellowship is still young, but we are now beginning to produce our own materials. As new literature is written and approved by SPAA Intergroup, we will post it here.
What is Edging?
SPAA defines sobriety as: No sex with one’s self (masturbation), no sex outside of a committed relationship and no viewing of pornography.
Our experience has shown us that certain behaviors — though outside SPAA’s sobriety definition — can still give us a “hit” of our drug and often lead to the loss of our sobriety. We call these behaviors “edging.”
While engaged in edging, we once again experience our great obsession — believing the lie that we can control and enjoy these secret behaviors. Therefore, as with our acting out behaviors, we asked our Higher Power to remove our desire to edge.
Edging activities vary widely from member to member, but many of us identify with the following:
- Perusing social media apps and websites looking for arousing, non-pornographic images and videos (sometimes through the use of secret accounts).
- Pressuring, nagging, guilting, or shaming our committed partner into sexual activity.
- Looking in public spaces for people we find attractive, then fantasizing about them, staring at their body parts or following them around. We’ve done this on foot and from our cars.
- Flirting with others when we are already in a committed relationship — either by paying them compliments, teasing, having inappropriate/intimate conversations or “turning on the charm.”
- Creating a list of “backup” partners in case things don’t work out in our current relationship.
- Using non-pornographic media with the goal of arousal. This could include: watching movies/TV shows or sexually suggestive videos; listening to arousing audio; or reading erotic literature.
- Conveniently forgetting to mention we are already in a committed relationship when meeting a new person we find attractive.
- Fantasizing — often by replaying our past sexual escapades or pornographic images we’ve seen (sometimes while having sex with our committed partner).
- Engaging in euphoric recall. That is, to relive our past sexual experiences for the purpose of arousal while overlooking the negative consequences of those experiences.
- Driving by known acting out locations.
If you engage in any edging activities not on this list, include it in your edging definition. Discuss your edging behaviors with your sponsor — or an experienced, sober member if you do not yet have a sponsor. To stay sober, we have found that we must stop keeping secrets about all edging behaviors.
We offer this information to the newcomer so that they may learn from our experience, receive our strength, and gain hope.
Am I a Sex and Porn Addict?
Have you found yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts? Have you spent too much time online for sexual purposes? Hidden some of your sexual behaviors from others? Attempted to stop sexual activities, such as viewing pornography, and failed? Hurt or neglected yourself or others because of your sexual behavior? Have you ever felt bad about your sexual behavior? If you responded yes to any of these questions, you may be a sex and porn addict.
Our problem behaviors include edging, viewing pornography, masturbation, serial affairs, and sexual encounters outside of a committed relationship. We see that these behaviors hurt us and others, and that our obsession with sex and porn underlies these behaviors.
SPAA offers a practical solution to our compulsive sexual behavior: the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. In other words, our program adopts many of the same methods that have helped millions of alcoholics find sobriety.
SPAA’s Twelve Steps are a group of principles that are spiritual in their nature. If practiced as a way of life, they can expel the obsession to edge and to act out sexually. This enables the addict to live happily and usefully whole. (Adapted from pg. 15 of AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
Who We Are
Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous is an international, inclusive fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may recover from sex and porn addiction.
Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help others to achieve sexual sobriety.
What Happens at Our Meetings?
We sex and porn addicts share our stories—speaking honestly about our struggles with addiction and the steps we have taken to find recovery. These stories are reports of actions that worked for us, rather than rules not to be broken. We find that our meetings are a reservoir of collective wisdom, based on decades of personal experience. Together, we stand on each other’s shoulders to achieve victory over sex and porn addiction.
Who Can Attend SPAA Meetings?
Anyone who says they are a sex and porn addict can attend meetings. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop acting out sexually and stop viewing pornography.
How Can SPAA Help Me with My Problem?
We guide you through the recovery process with the entire fellowship watching your back. We have regularly scheduled in-person meetings in various locations and conduct international Zoom meetings seven days a week. From sharing our individual stories, we see that we all suffer from the same problem in our own ways. We understand your problem. Here, we receive the benefits of experience and the tools of recovery from fellow members of the program, and we pass along that knowledge and our own experience to newcomers. Thus, we offer the hope of recovery and the strength that comes from knowing we are not alone. You are not alone.